An hour to kill before Emilia's 30-year party.
Felt the urge to consume to a cow but opened the cabin and all that was there was candy and in the refrigerator, chocolate.
Damn, I said, and discovered the 610ml Suntory just lying there, screaming with its slim neck to be finished.
I love too large beers.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Office fun
Work on a Saturday doesn’t have to be so damn dull.
Here, enjoying a Chinese beverage.
The black dots are made of black sticky rice. I’m not a big fan of those.
To be honest I feel slight obnoxious when one ends up in my mouth.
Here, enjoying a Chinese beverage.
The black dots are made of black sticky rice. I’m not a big fan of those.To be honest I feel slight obnoxious when one ends up in my mouth.
A bit hungover today, but there's always Frank
“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.”
-Frank Sinatra
-Frank Sinatra
Friday, September 5, 2008
I CAN get these for free:
But I can’t decide if they’re nice or sheiβ.
Also, please notice the slicked/glued jeans joint to my calves.Meeting and mailing at 14:48
Sitting trying to follow the digital brief-in. But Fan – constantly – brings in radio to the whole thing. The entire time.
I’m just sitting there squinting my eyes doing my best to convert my puzzled face into a “a I see” look.
Later I’m all mashed up and try to email my poor producer who keeps insisting she’s not the one I’m looking for – but I’m not the guy who gives up that easy so I persist my correspondence, with a rising impatience until I realize she is not the right producer.
“Failure one”, I notice in my mind when I get a mail with “Radio” as one of the participants.
Oh. I see. He's a ‘someone’.
Failure two.
I’m just sitting there squinting my eyes doing my best to convert my puzzled face into a “a I see” look.
Later I’m all mashed up and try to email my poor producer who keeps insisting she’s not the one I’m looking for – but I’m not the guy who gives up that easy so I persist my correspondence, with a rising impatience until I realize she is not the right producer.
“Failure one”, I notice in my mind when I get a mail with “Radio” as one of the participants.
Oh. I see. He's a ‘someone’.
Failure two.
Ali Dia Southampton 8:17pm - 9:25pm
Just read about the worse Premier League-eleven ever. And one guy catches my concentration.
Ali Dia. Bought by manager-disaster Souness to Southampton and in his first performance subbed for injured Matt Le Tissier (watch his narration of this) in the 32nd min. and then, swapped off in the 53rd min for being so – u n b e l i e v a b l y – bad.
All my praise to the cue-card writer.
Ali Dia. Bought by manager-disaster Souness to Southampton and in his first performance subbed for injured Matt Le Tissier (watch his narration of this) in the 32nd min. and then, swapped off in the 53rd min for being so – u n b e l i e v a b l y – bad.
All my praise to the cue-card writer.
Big fuck NO NO!
That’s what I want to scream now.
Emilia is celebrating her 3oth* birthday and having a party on Saturday, fun fun and yadi yadi yadi.
All good, right?
EEEEEIH! WRONG!
Man United is scheduled to beat Liverpool then and now it’s time for clever escapes and evil deceptions, but I might have to settle with my magic skill:
Bending time.
* 31 if you count Chinese style - you're already born when you come out, "1 year old baby born", happens aaaall the time here.
UPDATE: And just now – I realized the game is NEXT week.
Oh, silly me.
Emilia is celebrating her 3oth* birthday and having a party on Saturday, fun fun and yadi yadi yadi.
All good, right?
EEEEEIH! WRONG!
Man United is scheduled to beat Liverpool then and now it’s time for clever escapes and evil deceptions, but I might have to settle with my magic skill:
Bending time.
* 31 if you count Chinese style - you're already born when you come out, "1 year old baby born", happens aaaall the time here.
UPDATE: And just now – I realized the game is NEXT week.
Oh, silly me.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Two days
From frizzling hot, so hot you could see the desert like feverish-layer of distortion above ground where you reluctantly mapped out your own sweat where you walked, to something we can call, pretty nice actually.
I walked to work in slicked jeans (newly washed; jisus fucking Christ they’re like glue!), and can honestly say I give temperature three-decent fingers out of five today.
Haven't even used my fan today.
And all this in two days. Might have been shorter, like one day, but that almost sounds "a bit too much, a bit too grand of a story there, Mr. Complaining guy in Shanghai about the weather, here in Sweden it's blistering cold and snowstorm - everyday, enjoy the damn heat we'll never experience", you might say back home.
And I agree. I do feel sorry for you sorry sods back home. Moahahaha!
I walked to work in slicked jeans (newly washed; jisus fucking Christ they’re like glue!), and can honestly say I give temperature three-decent fingers out of five today.
Haven't even used my fan today.
And all this in two days. Might have been shorter, like one day, but that almost sounds "a bit too much, a bit too grand of a story there, Mr. Complaining guy in Shanghai about the weather, here in Sweden it's blistering cold and snowstorm - everyday, enjoy the damn heat we'll never experience", you might say back home.
And I agree. I do feel sorry for you sorry sods back home. Moahahaha!
More people and a small beer
Her friends arrived after our dinner yesterday and we had some beers together. It was, what I guess you in mature relationships would call, “really nice”.
But all I could think of was the lack of ice cream I had planned to devour together with a film that night, and then I swallowed my grief with another beer.
A small beer.
Yesterday’s bravado had put my guilty conscience in motion and I didn’t want to upset it too much.
“Don’t drink too much, you’ll be too tired tomorrow morning for your ridiculous stair running, and you wanna look fucking splendid, right?” I whispered to my mind and ordered the “warm brownie with chocolate sauce”, that of course was a tragedy; deserts seem to be a mismatch of readymade food here, and particularly chocolate cakes. They have the same savor as dirt.
I’m what we can call, yet to be pleasantly surprised about deserts here.
We talked during the evening (you have to, It’s “polite”) and I found out two things about the two new settlers here in China.
Petter didn’t like Chinese food and asked for every western cuisine we knew. Pauline didn’t like Chinese so much either and also wanted to know the whereabouts about these places.
They are going to stay here for “at least a year”.
This is my, for the Wednesday in honor, second pizza-meal of the day.
But all I could think of was the lack of ice cream I had planned to devour together with a film that night, and then I swallowed my grief with another beer.
A small beer.
Yesterday’s bravado had put my guilty conscience in motion and I didn’t want to upset it too much.
“Don’t drink too much, you’ll be too tired tomorrow morning for your ridiculous stair running, and you wanna look fucking splendid, right?” I whispered to my mind and ordered the “warm brownie with chocolate sauce”, that of course was a tragedy; deserts seem to be a mismatch of readymade food here, and particularly chocolate cakes. They have the same savor as dirt.
I’m what we can call, yet to be pleasantly surprised about deserts here.
We talked during the evening (you have to, It’s “polite”) and I found out two things about the two new settlers here in China.
Petter didn’t like Chinese food and asked for every western cuisine we knew. Pauline didn’t like Chinese so much either and also wanted to know the whereabouts about these places.
They are going to stay here for “at least a year”.
This is my, for the Wednesday in honor, second pizza-meal of the day.More joy!
And out of the blue, from down under* he arrives.
With tingling eyes sparked with envy he stares at Emilia and can’t wait to begin his fun.
Glue is well used here.
Here he is. Shining over his chore.
Please notice my personal fan in the background. We love each other.
Sadly, not all Fa piao's are wanted.
* Yes. He’s from Australia. It was Gothenburg humor. I apologize.
With tingling eyes sparked with envy he stares at Emilia and can’t wait to begin his fun.
Glue is well used here.
Here he is. Shining over his chore.Please notice my personal fan in the background. We love each other.
Sadly, not all Fa piao's are wanted.* Yes. He’s from Australia. It was Gothenburg humor. I apologize.
“You should be so happy you don’t have to do this, Chris”
Emilia says it, as she’s cutting and sticking on her Fa piao on blank sheets of papers.
Fa piao is some weird Chinese tax thing. You get it when you buy something and can then have reduction on your tax, or something like that*.
In short = really fucking complicated.
And it’s great. I didn’t even know I was supposed to be happy about something. But it’s instantly added to my Things To Be Happy About-list.
Kaching!
Evidence of her, gleuing away.
Close up on the economical beasts.
* Ok – we can all strongly agree I’m not the sharpest tool in the finance/economic box. So to speak.
Fa piao is some weird Chinese tax thing. You get it when you buy something and can then have reduction on your tax, or something like that*.
In short = really fucking complicated.
And it’s great. I didn’t even know I was supposed to be happy about something. But it’s instantly added to my Things To Be Happy About-list.
Kaching!
Evidence of her, gleuing away.
Close up on the economical beasts.
* Ok – we can all strongly agree I’m not the sharpest tool in the finance/economic box. So to speak.
Dare to download
I’m ashamed to admit I haven’t watched porn since my arrival.
So far, it’s four (4) months. Four months without any sign of real-life scenarios with plumbers going wrong and sweaty girls inviting them to involve in peculiar body humping positions accompanied by grotesque noises. And counting.
But what I’m most disturbed by is my own lack of courage. I haven’t even clicked on the compulsory adult-sites that constantly surround my mind.
Someone might wake me up at night, and without a word or verdict put me behind bars, or even worse, in a pit where I only twice a week will be fed, and until I’ve redeemed my sins and pledge to my new monastery vows and accept to never look at a pair of tits again, I shall never be released.
Wait a second. What if they find this post and a ‘certain word’ a bit up in the text, what then?
Oh fuck, I’m never gonna fuck again.
So far, it’s four (4) months. Four months without any sign of real-life scenarios with plumbers going wrong and sweaty girls inviting them to involve in peculiar body humping positions accompanied by grotesque noises. And counting.
But what I’m most disturbed by is my own lack of courage. I haven’t even clicked on the compulsory adult-sites that constantly surround my mind.
Someone might wake me up at night, and without a word or verdict put me behind bars, or even worse, in a pit where I only twice a week will be fed, and until I’ve redeemed my sins and pledge to my new monastery vows and accept to never look at a pair of tits again, I shall never be released.
Wait a second. What if they find this post and a ‘certain word’ a bit up in the text, what then?
Oh fuck, I’m never gonna fuck again.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Dying phone
My phone is caving in, it's pathetically crawling on its last legs and had enough obviously. And the way it's been treated over the years, I give it my compassion.
The button that first stopped functioning is the one that represents ‘space’ when you text and that turned out to complicate my already poor correspondence to home from here.
Like an contagious plague it has spread to digit ‘five’ (5), (also representing shortcut to the mailbox/texting) all the way down to the certainly vital, ‘star-button’, and this baby represents ‘unlock’, crucial to use when the phone automatically locks itself all the time.
I’m soon trapped in my own phone by its own means.
So if you by any chance don’t get a text from me tomorrow-or-so either, you know why.
The button that first stopped functioning is the one that represents ‘space’ when you text and that turned out to complicate my already poor correspondence to home from here.
Like an contagious plague it has spread to digit ‘five’ (5), (also representing shortcut to the mailbox/texting) all the way down to the certainly vital, ‘star-button’, and this baby represents ‘unlock’, crucial to use when the phone automatically locks itself all the time.
I’m soon trapped in my own phone by its own means.
So if you by any chance don’t get a text from me tomorrow-or-so either, you know why.
Workworkworkworkwork ------ …
Sometimes you’re so loaded with work you’re unsure if you’ll find an air pocket underneath the pile of it.
Then there are other times.
When it’s like being in the epicenter of a tornado. Everything just stops for a while. But then you look around you and see everyone else is flying around, doing shitloads of stuff in a frantic tempo.
But where you are, it’s calm, so calm.
But you know this “eye” is not gonna hover above you forever so you get ready. Hold on to something tight and start all necessary preparations.
Or you write another blog post and browse through another worthless site until work itself sweeps you away.
"Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward."
Then there are other times.
When it’s like being in the epicenter of a tornado. Everything just stops for a while. But then you look around you and see everyone else is flying around, doing shitloads of stuff in a frantic tempo.
But where you are, it’s calm, so calm.
But you know this “eye” is not gonna hover above you forever so you get ready. Hold on to something tight and start all necessary preparations.
Or you write another blog post and browse through another worthless site until work itself sweeps you away.
"Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward."
When conscience stops by for a thought
No workout this morning and one half of a pizza for lunch.
Your honor, beach ‘08 hysteria is over!
Overruled!
Your honor, beach ‘08 hysteria is over!
Overruled!
German movie-disappointment
Finally purchased the much-anticipated “Life of Others” from Hollywood DVD, and despite getting a great fake-copy, the German-linguistic film had only Chinese subtitles.
Scheiβe!
Scheiβe!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Meeting up before the race
Last Sunday our office* ran a race. I now discovered I had pictures from our gathering.
Buses were ordered to take us to the start. At 6am.
Buses were ordered to take us to the start. At 6am.
When we arrived everyone looked the same. Wooohoo.
Here are, still, excited people.
Happy pictures were taken. Here, Christian.
Breakfast was served.And unfoirtunatley I ate, although I had promised myself not.
Didn't want to have dough jolting in my stomach.
Doh!
The entire wrold's best and cutest Ayi and her son, Ray (I think).* And some other say, tens and tens of thousands around the globe too.
I have never eaten as much food during one single day as I did this Sunday. Ever.
OK, maybe. But I’m still full.
Evidence from Hyatt on the Bund.
Evidence from Hyatt on the Bund.“Are you working or sitting doing nothing?”
And like that.
With a single sentence had she erased my own notion that sitting glued to the screen gave the same impression as actual work.
Doh!
With a single sentence had she erased my own notion that sitting glued to the screen gave the same impression as actual work.
Doh!
“Vivien, chi che ni da dan ko!”
It means, ‘Vivien thank you for the cake’, and it was just used to show off my polyglot-skills in the mass-happy-bday-email spreading around the office.
Rumours about cake started circulating.
Hands came together in joyful cheers.
People started hugging and celebration-crescendo was near.
Even Emilie wanted some cake, and she's from Paris in France.
It was chocolate and some really weird other taste...
..that I was later informed was "cherry",
I still have no idea how someone can mix those flavors together. So weird.
But Ukachi thought it was ok, and gave me permsission to eat,
"after all we have a gruel Fight Club session tonight where you can kick off this extra layer of flab", he said and took another chunky bite.
Zebra and Grace was so amazed by the weird mix of flavors in the cake and wanted photo-evidence, "otherwise no one will beilieve us", they said.
Rumours about cake started circulating.
Hands came together in joyful cheers.
People started hugging and celebration-crescendo was near.
Even Emilie wanted some cake, and she's from Paris in France.
It was chocolate and some really weird other taste...
..that I was later informed was "cherry",I still have no idea how someone can mix those flavors together. So weird.
But Ukachi thought it was ok, and gave me permsission to eat,"after all we have a gruel Fight Club session tonight where you can kick off this extra layer of flab", he said and took another chunky bite.
Zebra and Grace was so amazed by the weird mix of flavors in the cake and wanted photo-evidence, "otherwise no one will beilieve us", they said.Boiling point
We were all given a discount card to the official Flagship store here in Shanghai. Pretty fancy I reckoned as I planned my purchases.
The card was all in Chinese, so I had to read the email that escorted the card that informed me it was only for running products.
Fine, I need to update my running gears I thought, and jumped into the cab.
Took a good hour before the little Chinese had done his laps to the storage and back to provide me with the just right shoes to match my, also soon to be bought new Nike+ -thingie.
Wanted a new pair of tights too, but those things were only hanging in the women sections, so half-embarrassed I briskly waved it off, “haha no, I didn’t mean those tights…aa oh gosh no”.
Then we came to the register. And after ten-or-so different clerks later they managed to interpret my discount card – and then declined my shoe-purchase.
Whatafuck you think and so did I.
A huge argument and a bigger lecture from me followed. I tried to educate them about which products where included or not, until I slammed my hand on the counter and walked off with a silent ‘fuck off’ in my head.
I wanted to shred the card to pieces and scream as I walked out but came to my senses and decided that, the discount for this new technology of running is worth the humiliation of returning to the store.
So I did, smiled and asked which shoes I was ok to buy.
He presented me three shoes and one of them was the exact same pair as he just denied me.
To avoid any further misunderstanding I kindly informed them that these shoes are the e x a c t same as my rejected ones; same model, same stitches, same sole, same, same, same - everything - is the same, except for the swoosh being orange.
But his smug face just chuckled, “it's different pair” and that, “I was wrong”.
Ok fine I capitulated and bought the damn boots on my discount card.
The card was all in Chinese, so I had to read the email that escorted the card that informed me it was only for running products.
Fine, I need to update my running gears I thought, and jumped into the cab.
Took a good hour before the little Chinese had done his laps to the storage and back to provide me with the just right shoes to match my, also soon to be bought new Nike+ -thingie.
Wanted a new pair of tights too, but those things were only hanging in the women sections, so half-embarrassed I briskly waved it off, “haha no, I didn’t mean those tights…aa oh gosh no”.
Then we came to the register. And after ten-or-so different clerks later they managed to interpret my discount card – and then declined my shoe-purchase.
Whatafuck you think and so did I.
A huge argument and a bigger lecture from me followed. I tried to educate them about which products where included or not, until I slammed my hand on the counter and walked off with a silent ‘fuck off’ in my head.
I wanted to shred the card to pieces and scream as I walked out but came to my senses and decided that, the discount for this new technology of running is worth the humiliation of returning to the store.
So I did, smiled and asked which shoes I was ok to buy.
He presented me three shoes and one of them was the exact same pair as he just denied me.
To avoid any further misunderstanding I kindly informed them that these shoes are the e x a c t same as my rejected ones; same model, same stitches, same sole, same, same, same - everything - is the same, except for the swoosh being orange.
But his smug face just chuckled, “it's different pair” and that, “I was wrong”.
Ok fine I capitulated and bought the damn boots on my discount card.
Monday, September 1, 2008
“I did one tour”
Anne’s dad joined us for our ridiculously delicious and enormous brunch after the race on Sunday.
They were planning to travel through Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand after this and I spotted my chance to mention my own traveling days in that particular area a few years ago, and as I ordered my chocolate soufflé I opened with the “Have you been there before, sir?” and he calmly replied, “Yea I was in ‘Nam during the war”.
Not only is he the first person I hear referring both the country and the war in the combined contraction, ‘Nam’ in actual reality, but it also brings some perspective of life in general.
Here we are boozing champagne and eating food like no tomorrow on a Sunday afternoon, and this gentleman went to war at our age.
Then my chocolate soufflé arrived and bitch-slapped perspective back to now and it wasn’t even half as good as I hoped.
They were planning to travel through Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand after this and I spotted my chance to mention my own traveling days in that particular area a few years ago, and as I ordered my chocolate soufflé I opened with the “Have you been there before, sir?” and he calmly replied, “Yea I was in ‘Nam during the war”.
Not only is he the first person I hear referring both the country and the war in the combined contraction, ‘Nam’ in actual reality, but it also brings some perspective of life in general.
Here we are boozing champagne and eating food like no tomorrow on a Sunday afternoon, and this gentleman went to war at our age.
Then my chocolate soufflé arrived and bitch-slapped perspective back to now and it wasn’t even half as good as I hoped.
Gigantic slice of irony #1
Not a man of politics, but as CNN being one of about four English channels in the apartment, it’s not easy to avoid.
This man has punching Obama about him being way too inexperienced to rule and take charge of the "greatest country in the world" *.
Then he chooses a person for VP that has precisely no experience and embodies every single attack he’s ever verbalized towards Obama**.
You are literally a retard to trust this face; the scariest smile ever.
Believe me, despite my lack of knowledge on the matter, nothing apart from chainsaw and surgery, can make a grin that deceptively squared.
*Ironic enough, this is not regarding the topic above.
**This is.
This man has punching Obama about him being way too inexperienced to rule and take charge of the "greatest country in the world" *.
Then he chooses a person for VP that has precisely no experience and embodies every single attack he’s ever verbalized towards Obama**.
You are literally a retard to trust this face; the scariest smile ever.Believe me, despite my lack of knowledge on the matter, nothing apart from chainsaw and surgery, can make a grin that deceptively squared.
*Ironic enough, this is not regarding the topic above.
**This is.
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